The Ultimate Makeover: How I Transformed from Awkward Teen to Glam Dauphine

Each Sunday, Marie Antoinette takes time from her own personal afterlife to help Modern Maries like yourself navigate life’s social minefields. If you find yourself in need of advice from the former Queen of France, please email whatwouldmarieantoinettedo at gmail dot com.

ImageMadame my queen, 

I’m starting school next week and while I’m excited there’s a little problem. I fell riding my bike and am not only all scratched up but I have a chipped tooth. I do not want to be seen like this. At all. I’m thinking of bowing out and pretending I am sick. What do you think? 

Not up to scratch

Dear heart,

I’m so sorry about your fall and am so happy to hear you’re (mostly) fine. I’m also so sorry to hear you’re considering bowing out on this all important first week. It would be a shame not to be part of these all-important first days.

I’m one of the most famous princesses who ever lived, but I wasn’t always princess-worthy. My teen glamour required not just some hard work but some core rules.

1. Fix what’s broken.  I had crooked teeth and at 13 was hardly worthy of the French prince’s hand. That is until mom hired one of the best French dentists to straighten my teeth. After a number of horrendous oral surgeries performed without anesthesia throughout three months, my smile was finally perfect.

2. Hide flaws. As a young girl, I had a high forehead that was made more visible by a tendency to pull all my unruly reddish brown curls on top of my head with a scratchy woolen band (that also pulled out my hair). The cure was lower updo that softened my “unacceptable” hairline and prevented more baldspots.

3. Celebrate charms. In early portraits painted for Louis XV, paintings showcase a charming smile, a slim physique, and a skin that rivaled porcelain for whiteness.

These tips are all to say that even I had my awkward days. Get yourself to a dentist stat to fix that chip, don a maxi dress to hide the scratches on your legs, and remember your real friends will love you any way — and refrain from photographs until you’re smiling again. Keep the sick days for when you’re not feeling good, not when you think you’re not looking good and enjoy those first days.

What do you think? Did the queen get it right? Let her know what you’d add in the comments. 

2 thoughts on “The Ultimate Makeover: How I Transformed from Awkward Teen to Glam Dauphine

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