Read Marie Antoinette’s Resume

Our girl could have escaped. And lord knows, plenty of folks tried to help her. So what would she have done if she did break away? It’s a good question. Chances are she’d disappear into life in exile in Europe or, if she were lucky, a life of anonymity in the Colonies. Of course that life wouldn’t have needed a resume. That was hardly the custom anyway. But that’s no reason we can’t make one for her.

MARIA ANTONIA JOSEPHA JOHANNA VON HABSBURG-LOTHRINGEN

VERSAILLES, FRANCE

CALLMEPRINCESS@WANNADO.FR

 

OBJECTIVE: Master embroiderer with some management experience seeks a position that utilizes my notoriety and need to leave the country immediately.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target of republic’s hostility

EDUCATION: Homeschooled. Graduated first in my class. Concentrations in obedience, docility.

REASON FOR LEAVING LAST JOB: Taken forcibly from palace, led by heads on pikes.

EXPERIENCE:
Queen. Versailles, France. 1770-PRESENT
Real live Princess. Responsible for wearing of very large skirts and jewels on occasion. Represented centuries of class hatreds. Single-handedly supported the French silk industry. Coordinated building of miniature farm complete with lambs, villagers, a mill and milking cows.

Archduchess. Hofburg, Austria. 1755-1770
15th child of Empress Maria Theresa. Managed to stay unscarred after small pox – and stay alive to further her mother’s political ambitions.

SKILLS:
Technical Skills: Speak French. German. Italian. Once gambled for 36 hours straight. Embroidery. Harp. Dance. Acting.

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What, Too soon? Tell me what I missed in the comments. 

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