An open letter to Taylor Momsen, a Modern Marie

 

Incidentally, Taylor's shoes are available for $57.95 on http://www.ShoeBuy.com. Cheap, No?

A special series where Marie herself helps the Modern Maries of our time. Suggest others who might just need the Queen’s help in the comments.

Adolescence is a tumultuous time. You are burdened the freshness of youth and the wisdom of one 3 times your age. You are surrounded by people who have never been as smart, as knowing, as real as you are. And in your case, you might be coming of the beloved (and racy) Gossip Girl and think that gives you the permission you need to do things like perform at a rock show WEARING SHOES WITH A TIP JAR BUILT INTO THEM.

Maybe it’s Gossip Girl’s fault? If you were on another show, a cleaner, more wholesome show, then maybe things would be different? Luckily, we’ve seen what happens to the girls who do Disney, and my precious Gossip Girl can remain utterly blameless.

Yes, interesting artistic types kohl their eyes. People like Alice Cooper. Or Avril Lavigne. In this case, the only similarity between these two is their first names. The measure of artistic impact between them, however, is wide and cavernous.

And yes, performers such as Lady Gaga wear provocative outfits. She simulates relations in music videos. She wears bubble dresses and sits in garbage cans. But, the measure of difference between her artistic statements and yours, are, again, too cavernous to measure.

In the end, we have simply a teen girl who wears a tip jar in her shoes. This is not remarkable. There are lots of teen girls who (metaphorically or otherwise) wear tip jars in their shoes. Girls who walk tall in their stripper shoes earn more than (what looks like) the two dollars you have stuffed in yours. Likely, you’d tell me the shoes were a joke, an ironic statement. If so, I’d point out that the measure of difference between the irony of this act and its more practical connotations is very slim.

In my time, being a girl for hire was really only shameful if you are indiscreet or unsuccessful. But in my time, as yours, a girl had other options. Your reputation will precede you. We can either think of you as a precocious young actress/musician or a girl who lets shock overwhelm her actual artistic capability.

As a girl who is still best known for “Let them eat cake,” a phrase I never uttered, I’d take your reputation seriously.

-Marie Antoinette

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2 thoughts on “An open letter to Taylor Momsen, a Modern Marie

  1. Jamie's FanGirl says:

    I always think back in amazement when I see girls like this…”Remember when they were innocent?”

    Remember when Lohan was in The Parent Trap? Remember when Momsen was the sweet little Cindy Lou Who?

    Yeah…remember?

    Like

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